DARVO.app helps you see what's really going on in difficult messages — from co-parents, ex-partners, family, or anyone who uses denial, blame-shifting, and guilt trips. Paste a message, get tactics identified, plain-language translations, and responses you can actually use.
DARVO.app is an educational tool that analyzes written messages for common manipulation and deflection patterns. You paste text — a text thread, email, or message — and get a clear breakdown of what tactics are in play, what the words often really mean, and suggested ways to respond that hold your boundaries without escalating.
The name comes from DARVO: Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender — a pattern identified by researcher Dr. Jennifer Freyd. When someone deflects accountability by denying, attacking you, and casting themselves as the victim, that's DARVO. Our tool helps you recognize it and similar patterns so you can name what's happening.
The core shift we support: moving from "Am I overreacting?" to "I see what's happening." We don't store or train on your messages. You stay in control; we give you clarity.
Three ways we help you get from confusion to clarity.
We name what you're seeing. Gaslighting, guilt-tripping, blame-shifting — when the tool flags these, it confirms you're not imagining it.
Each tactic is briefly explained so you understand the pattern. You learn to spot deflection and DARVO-style responses in future messages.
You get suggested responses and language you can use. The goal is to support your boundaries and reduce second-guessing, not to replace professional help.
Five years. That's how long I spent slowly becoming someone I didn't recognize.
I wasn't always a self-doubting person. But somewhere in the middle of a marriage, I started questioning everything — my memory, my judgment, my instincts. I felt confused more than I felt certain. I walked on eggshells I couldn't see. I thought I was the problem.
Then one evening, there was a knock at my door. Police. My wife had made a move I never saw coming — a legal ambush designed to take my children and rewrite the story of who I was. In a single moment, the life I thought I had collapsed.
I spent everything I had fighting to get my kids back. But just as hard was the fight to find myself again. The relationship had hollowed me out. I needed to rebuild — not just for me, but to show up as the father my kids deserved. Version 2.0.
That's when my therapist introduced me to something I didn't have a name for yet: Post Narcissistic Stress Disorder. The self-doubt. The hypervigilance. The inability to trust my own read of a situation. It wasn't weakness — it was a predictable response to years of covert manipulation. Finally having a name for it changed something.
Slowly, I learned tools. Grey rock. Yellow rock. How to respond without engaging. How to communicate in a way that didn't give ammunition. I started running co-parenting messages through an AI I'd built myself — pasting in the latest manipulation, breaking it down, drafting a response that held the line without escalating.
Another reason I built this: the space between coaching or therapy sessions. I still wanted to co-parent with my ex for our kids' sake — I wasn't giving up on that — but I couldn't call my therapist every time a message landed. What I needed was to review what had already been said, understand the pattern after the fact, and adjust my response strategy before the next exchange. DARVO.app is built for that in-between moment: not instead of professional support, but so you're not alone with the text until your next session.
It worked. And I realized I wasn't the only one who needed it.
DARVO.app is what I wish I'd had from day one. Not a therapist. Not a lawyer. Just a clear-eyed tool that tells you: you're not imagining it, here's what's happening, here's how to respond.
If you're here, you probably already know something is off. You don't need more self-doubt. You need clarity. That's what this is for.
Jason
Founder, DARVO.app
Anyone dealing with high-conflict or manipulative communication.
Post-separation or co-parenting messages that leave you doubting yourself or walking on eggshells.
Relatives who deflect, guilt-trip, or turn every conversation into a blame game.
Bosses or coworkers who gaslight, take credit, or put you on the defensive in writing.
Partners, exes, or others whose messages leave you confused or invalidated.
Our model is built on recognized research and frameworks. Dr. Jennifer Freyd coined DARVO to describe how perpetrators deny, attack, and reverse victim and offender. We use that lens alongside work on high-conflict communication and personality (e.g. Dr. John Gottman, Dr. Ramani Durvasula) and practical methods like Bill Eddy's BIFF (Brief, Informative, Friendly, Firm) for responding to hostile or manipulative messages.
We don't diagnose people. We help you spot patterns in text — deflection, minimization, guilt-tripping, weaponized concern — so you can name what you're seeing and choose how to respond. The goal is education and clarity, not replacement for therapy, legal advice, or crisis support.
DARVO.app is stateless: we don't store or train on your messages. You paste, we analyze, you get a breakdown. Your privacy is central to how we built this.
20+ Named tactics
From gaslighting to love-bombing
4 Relationship contexts
Co-parent, partner, family, workplace
100% Stateless
We never store your messages
We are an educational tool. We are not a substitute for professional help.
We don't provide mental health treatment, diagnosis, or therapy. If you're struggling emotionally, please reach out to a licensed therapist or counselor.
We don't provide legal advice. For custody, restraining orders, or legal strategy, consult a qualified attorney.
We don't diagnose anyone with a personality or mental health condition. We only point out patterns in written communication.
We can't help in an emergency. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger or crisis, use the resources below.
DARVO.app is for educational and informational use only. It is not a substitute for professional medical, legal, or mental health advice. If you are in immediate danger, call 911. If you are in emotional distress or crisis, call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline) in the US.
If in immediate danger, call 911. For emotional crisis support in the US: call or text 988.
On the free tier, we don't store your messages. You paste, we analyze in the moment, and we don't keep the content. We don't use your data to train models. If we ever offer features that involve storing data, we'll be explicit about it and let you choose.
Paste a message and get a clear breakdown in seconds.
Analyze a Message